A Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by aeroplane. He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.

     After some time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to leave the side seat. But the sardaji told: 'I want to see the viewfrom the window and shall not leave'. The old lady then complained to the air hostess. The air hostess came and requested the sardarji to leave that seat. But sardarji was adament and did not leave. Then the air hostess went and told the asst capt. He also came and requested, but in vain.

 Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the Sardarji, and the Sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat.

     Astonished, the airhostess and the assistant captain asked the captain about what he told to the sardarji. Captain replied: 'nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh . All others will go to Jalandhar.'

 One rainy day Sardar singh was travelling by his new FERRARI car. He was not a very good driver and so, did not have complete control on it. Mike tyson was also riding his bike on the same road . At a speed breaker sardar's car came in contact with tysons bike . Tyson got very angry. He dragged sardar out of the car and threw him a few yards away from the car.

     Tyson then drew a small circle around sardar and shouted 'Hey !! Its not easy for you to damage my bike and get away . Now i will be thrashing your car. You should stay inside this circle and watch me smash your car. If you come out of the circle, I will kill you immediately'.

Then tyson turned towards the car and he smashad its side indicators. Then he looked at sardar . Sardar looked at tyson sarcastically. Tyson's anger grew and he smashed the window panes and then again looked at sardar. Sardar grinned at tyson. Tyson was confused. Tyson could now not at all control his anger and he broke the side doors and tore away the seats of the car. Then he again looked at Sardar. Sardar was laughing so hard that he could hardly stand.

     This time Tyson came to Sardar and he told 'oh ! what is this ? I am spoiling your expensive car and you are so happy about it ?' Sardar replied 'Every time you turned towards the car I was out of the circle and you did not notice it . I have fooled you. You are a fool ..'

    
       Banta Singh was shifting his residence. He was packing his belongings. By midnight he was too tired and dozed off with the house door open. A sound woke him up. A thief was packing valuables. Banta Singh found it very amusing; the thief was doing the job for him! 'When this smart guy finishes packing, I willcatch him'.

     Banta was a hefty guy; so when the burglar finished packing, Banta Singh jumped on him and tied him up.

     Then he went to the police station and reported the matter. 'What did you do to the thief'? 'I tied his hands; you come and collect him'.

     Santa Singh is the aggressive participant on Kaun Banega Crorpati.

     Amitabh: Santaji, if you give answer for 5 questions means you will win Rs. 10,000 . if answer 15 means you will win 1 crore! Your time starts now.

     First Question for one hundred rupess: Who is India 's Prime Minister?
A: Vajpayee B: Advani C: Zail Singh D:Amrish Puri?

     Santa Singh: Vajpayee.

 Amitabh: Sure?

     Santa Singh: Yes, sure.

     Amitabh: Confident?

     Santa Singh: Yes

     Amitabh: Absolutely sure?

     Santa Singh: Yes Amitji.

     Amitabh: Shall we finish?

     Santa Singh: Yes.

     Amitabh: Right Answer! You win one hundred rupees!

     Santa Singh: Oye! Sir, dont cheat me! I have answered five questions. so give me 10000 rupees.

   
  Sardarji is selected to play for the Indian cricket team as an opening batsman. He opens the batting against West Indies . He is asked to face the very first over (with one Sunil Gavaskar as the non-striker!).

     From Marshall who is bowling at his fiercest... First ball : Whizzes past Sardarji's off-stump. Sardarji doesn't move an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper.

     Second ball : Goes right over the Sardarji's bat and just over the middle stump, somehow missing both the bat and the stumps. Sardarji is again unmoved.

Third ball : Is a bouncer. Almost decapitates the Sardarji, missing his head by a fraction of an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper. Sardarji doesn't move a muscle.

     Fourth ball : Outside the leg-stump. Sardarji again doesn't move, and the ball shoots past him to the wicket-keeper. But this time, the umpire shouts 'No Ball!'

     Sardarji walks upto the umpire and tells him, 'So you discovered it now? You see, I know from the very beginning that the guy has no ball in his hand!'

   
  Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very depressed. 'What happened ?' asked Surjit.

     'Yaar, I lost Rs. 1000 in a bet yesterday '

     'How come ?'

  'Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and England was being shown live on TV.I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet.'

     'But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?

     ' Yaar, I bet on the highlights too'

      A little boy approaches his dad and asks, 'What's politics?'.

     His dad says, 'Well son, let me explain it this way: I'm the head of the family, so call me the President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'

     So the little boy goes off to bed, thinking about what his father said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper, so he heads to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.

 The next morning, the little boy says to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.'

     His father says, 'Good, son. Tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'

     The little boy replies, 'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep crap.'

    
 Ram's shop burned down and his wife, Rupa, called the insurance company.

     Rupa spoke to the insurance agent and said, 'We had that shop insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money.'

      The agent replied, 'Just a minute, mam. Our Insurance doesn't work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we'll provide you with a new shop of similar worth.'

     There was a long pause, and then Sandy replied, 'If that's how it works, cancel the life insurance policy on my husband!'